What in the name of Robin Hood's quill am I on about? King John's Castle is the name of a horse that ran at the Grand National last weekend. Well when I say ran I mean, in the words of the official website, he 'didn't move'.
To some this may seem a sign of weakness, a lily-livered act of cowardice that will deserve horse-taunts in the equine school playground. But to me it was an act of rebellion, a two-hooved gesture of defiance that said 'You want to jump over those hedges? Do it yourself!'. OK, so I'm anthropomorphising a little, but bear with me.
As the 39 men on their 39 steeds charged off into the distance, King John's Castle simply stood still and watched, then perhaps ate some of the famous Aintree grass. The race commentator, exasperated at this obstinate animal cried, "King John's Castle has refused to leave the starting area, the first casualty before the race has even begun".
What was KJC's motive in standing completely still. I guess we'll never know. However there's a clue in the commentator's quote, so I'm going to take the liberty of articulating his defence. With a hoarse voice of course.
In defence of King John's Castle
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, imagine a scenario just a few days before the 2010 Grand National. A horse walks into a bar (stop it!) and sits with his half pint of Black Beauty (that's what they call Guinness if you're a horse), opens up his copy of the Daily Mare and casts his eyes over the big race preview.
Different to the newspapers we humans are accustomed to, this paper tells a different, more grim story about the Grand National. The only odds it mentions are the odds of avoiding serious injury and death. These odds look reasonable on paper, but who would want to take part in an event where your chances of dying were higher than most sports we would call dangerous, such as motor racing for instance.
KJC takes a sip of his drink and turns a page. He reads a roll call of death and despair that makes his hair crawl. 2009 - Hear The Echo, Exotic Dancer, Moscow Catch, Mel in Blue, Lilla Sophia - five good horses, all killed in action. What, he wonders would be the tally for 2010.
There's a column written by the humans who look after the Aintree race course. The column's aim, they claim, is to reassure the horses that what they are about to do is perfectly safe. It is entitled 'Animal Welfare'.
The column stated "The biggest advance in facilities came before the 2006 John Smith’s Grand National meeting. Improvements included the construction of a new veterinary surgery in the stable yard which has two treatment boxes and an x-ray unit, plus an equine solarium and sandpit facilities."*
There's even a helpful quote from a vet that states “There are always pressures when working at the Grand National meeting. It’s a tough three days and often very challenging."* KJC downed the rest of his Black Beauty and let the words sink in.
Far from putting KJC's mind at rest, he was, as you would be too, put into a state of mild panic. Put yourself in his position ladies and gentlemen - imagine running onto the pitch for your game of football or hockey, doing your stretches then looking around to see the crowd is made up of people in white coats with syringes and stethoscopes. Would you still be there for kick-off?
So, perhaps we are closer to understanding this good horse's motive in electing to stand still rather than go 'over the top'. Call it a conscientious objection, call it common sense, call it whatever you like, but you can't blame him for not trying.
King John's Castle is a good horse, so he felt no joy in his soul the next time he picked up the newspaper and read the latest list of names that never made it. Prudent Honour, Plaisir D’Estraval, Schindlers Hunt, Pagan Starprincess. Four good horses. KJC wiped the tear from his eye, turned the page and looked for the recruitment section.
*Quotes taken from Aintree website.